Abusive Relationship Advice

Are you in an Abusive or Controlling Relationship?

This Abusive Relationship page is part of my Relationships series...

Identifying whether you are in an abusive or controlling relationship can sometimes be difficult. The black eye and bruises are obvious physical signs of an abusive relationship. But you don’t have to be beaten black and blue to suffer this kind of abusive.

There are warning signals to identify whether you are suffering verbal, emotional, or physical abuse in a relationship and why it can be difficult to break free. The actions of your partner designed to control where you go, who you see and your access to friends, family and money highlight controlling behaviour that constitutes abuse.

Questions to Ask Yourself

A woman inside with hands pressed against the window looking out at the rain.
  • Are you afraid of your partner?
  • Do you feel as if you have to walk on eggshells to keep your partner from getting angry?
  • Does your partner emotionally abuse you by using insults, belittling you or ignoring you?
  • Does your partner tell you who you may be friends with, how you should dress, or try to control other elements of your life or relationship?
  • Does your partner get jealous when there is no reason?
  • Does your partner ever get physically violent to you or others, even if it's 'just' pushing, jabbing a finger or grabbing to get their way?
  • Does your partner have extreme mood swings from being affectionate one minute to mean and cruel the next?
  • Have you changed your life, your habits, your routine, and your relationships with family and friends so as not to 'provoke' your partner?
  • Does your partner make all the financial decisions without consulting you?
  • Are you unable to freely express your views and opinions?

If you've said 'yes' to any of the above questions you are in an abusive relationship.

Because women make up the majority of the abused partner in abusive relationships I have worded the following advice from a woman’s perspective.

It is a fact that most abuse happens to women, perpetrated by men. Although there are also female abusers of men and also same sex abusers.

An abusive relationship will always have a negative impact on children.

Things Abusers Say

There are common phrases and statements that abusers use to put down, belittle, control and manipulate their partners.

Here are some examples:

You're stupid. You're fat. You're ugly. You're useless. You're frigid.

You can't even keep the house tidy. You're a terrible mother. You’re a hopeless cook.

You're lucky to have me. No one else would want you.

If you tell anyone else about the abuse... you'll be sorry.

If you tell anyone else about the abuse... no one will believe you.

If you tell anyone else about the abuse... I'll report you as an unfit mother.

If you try and leave me... you'll never get away.

If you try and leave me... you couldn't cope without me.

If you try and leave me... no-one else will have you.

If you try and leave me... I'll snatch the kids and you'll never see them again.

If you try and leave me... I'll track you down and find you even if it takes years and then I'll kill you so you'll never be able to live in peace never knowing when it will happen.

If you try and leave me... I'll kill myself and you'll have to explain to our children why their dad is dead and it'll be on your conscience for the rest of your life.

A close up of a woman's face in despair and depressed.

Staying in an Abusive Relationship

Although each relationship is different there are common factors why people stay in an abusive relationship:

They believe they can change their partner. (This will NEVER happen).

They hope that they can get back to how it was before the abuse started at the beginning of the relationship.

They feel that they can’t cope, manage or live without the other person.

They are afraid of confrontation and the repercussions.

They stay ‘for the sake of the children’.

They don’t feel that they can support themselves – financially, emotionality or practically.

They don’t have the support to help them leave the abusive relationship, and feel alone and isolated.

They feel ashamed and guilty that they are a failure in a failed relationship.

This list compiled by Davina James-Hanman and published on the BBC website can help you to recognise if you, or someone you know, are in an abusive relationship.

  • Destructive criticism and verbal abuse: shouting, mocking, accusing, name calling, verbally threatening.
  • Pressure tactics: sulking, threatening to withhold money, disconnect the telephone, take the car away, commit suicide, take the children away, report you to welfare agencies unless you comply with his demands regarding bringing up the children, lying to your friends and family about you, telling you that you have no choice in any decisions.
  • Disrespect: persistently putting you down in front of other people, not listening or responding when you talk, interrupting your telephone calls, taking money from your purse without asking, refusing to help with childcare or housework.
  • Breaking trust: lying to you, withholding information from you, being jealous, having other relationships, breaking promises and shared agreements.
  • Isolation: monitoring or blocking your telephone calls, telling you where you can and cannot go, preventing you from seeing friends and relatives.
  • Harassment: following you, checking up on you, opening your mail, repeatedly dialling 1471 to see who has telephoned you, embarrassing you in public.
  • Threats: making angry gestures, using physical size to intimidate, shouting you down, destroying your possessions, breaking things, punching walls, wielding a knife or a gun.
  • Sexual violence: using force, threats or intimidation to make you perform sexual acts; having sex with you when you don't want to have sex; any degrading treatment based on your sexual orientation.
  • Physical violence: punching, slapping, hitting, biting, pinching, kicking, pulling hair out, pushing, shoving, burning, strangling, raping.
  • Denial: saying the abuse doesn't happen, saying you caused the abusive behaviour, being publicly gentle and patient, crying and begging for forgiveness, saying it will never happen again.

Alizon's Advice

Graphic link to Newsletter Sign Up Form

Get out of an abusive relationship now!

Your abuser will never change for the better – they will get worse.

There is no point ‘working at it’ or accepting it as the inevitable ‘ups and downs’ or ‘give and take’ of any relationship.

Get out now! And take your children before things get worse.

Your abuser does not love you. Love doesn’t hurt, make you cry or behave badly.

You and your children deserve so much better.

Seek practical help to get out of your relationship.

Please heed my advice before any harm comes to you and your children.

I speak from bitter personal experience and know that you’ll live to regret staying with an abusive partner.

Return to Relationships

Positive energy is very important if you are to live an abundant and prosperous life and build up good karma. A great way to do this is by undertaking some charity work.


Ali says
"Hello dear Alizon ☺️ I wish you a happy new year, good health and happiness for the future. I just have to thank you again for the Soulmate spell you performed for me, I finally met a wonderful girl and it's going so wonderfully between us, it can't be described in words, we want to get married next summer 😊 I think I owe it all to your magic. You are such a wonderful personality and a blessing to this world ✨ Light and Love from me"

Liz from the US says
"You cast a spell for me in August 2022 and I want to thank you for your sincere efforts on my behalf. The spell was very successful. I will use your services again. You help many people. Thank you again!"

Christine from Stamford, Connecticut, USA says
"Hi Alizon! Thank you for another GREAT Casino win! after casting me a Money Spell."

Thomas from Muir, Switzerland says
"You cast a Money Spell for me. My turnover increased 70% during the last three months! You helped me in a great way."

Terrence from Sacramento, California USA
"I wanted to thank you for the Money Spell you cast for me. I have seen immediate results and look forward to the continuous positive energy. Blessings to you."

Alexa Aurora, Colorado USA
"Hi! Again, thank you for all your work on the Money Spell. There have been amazing positive energies flowing around my finances already."

Judith from Wrexham, North Wales, UK
"I just wanted to thank you for casting the Full Moon Triple Cast Love Spell from the bottom of my heart. I know the full moon can be powerful but I didn’t expect such great results so soon."

Charles from Smithfield, Queensland, Australia "Thank you so much for the amazing and fantastic extreme success you had in the Return Lover Spell you did. Within 24hrs my ex contacted me and wanted to see me straight away. I could not believe it. It was amazing."

Lynne from Topeka, Kansas, USA
"You cast an Attraction Spell for me. It took several weeks to work, but when it did, it worked like ... well like magic! I have found the most wonderful, perfect, man in the world for me!"

Graham from Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada
"Just one word – UNBELIEVABLE!!! The reaction I got just days after you cast the Sex Spell was incredible."

Nina from Picton, NSW, Australia
"I just wanted to share with you the best news ever! Your Fertility Spell worked! I’ve waited so long for this to happen and I’m over the moon. Thank you so much Alizon."

Yvette from Singapore
"The Psychic Ability Spell you cast has begun to work. I can sense the connections with spirit much stronger than before. I have been more and more sensitive to other "beings" around me also."

David from Georgia, USA
"Just so you'll know I recently purchased a Reunite Spell from you. It worked!!! It had been two and a half months since I heard from my ex. Less than a week after your spell she reached out to me through Facebook."

Elpo from Middlesex, UK
" Dear Alizon, I don't know how to express my joy to you .... I can only wish all the best in your life and lots of blessings !! The Reunite Spell worked the same day, I am back on track with my lover."

Andrea from South Australia
" Just to let you know that I`ve got the job I wanted with the Prosperity Spell you did. Thank you very much. It is unbelievable."

Tiffany from Sarasota, Florida, USA
" I want to thank you for the Binding Spell you did for me. It brought ******* back to me! So thank you so much from the bottom of my heart!"

Julia from San Diego, USA
"I was so pleased with the Love Spell you cast for me last week! I had results the very next day. Thank you, blessed be."


I would like to thank you SO much again. You are so gifted and I'm lucky to have found you and receive your energy. I had instant results AGAIN with the Money Spell you cast for me!"

Leonora from Ottawa, Canada
"You cast a Fertility Spell for me and I had twins!"

Jessica from Northern Carolina, USA
"I ordered Custom Spell from you over 2 or 3 weeks ago and I would just like to share my success. A lot of things are opening up for me. Multiple job opportunities, I feel great, energized and my ex boyfriend and I are back together. Thanks again for your amazing work."

Cassandra from New South Wales, Australia
"Just to let you know that my lover and I have united and we are now a couple because of the Return Lover Spell you cast for me. And, thank you. We are a very connected pair, consider ourselves soul mates and through your help, are now together."

Louise from Sheffield, United Kingdom
"Everything is perfect with me and ****.The Commitment Spell you cast me he asked me to marry him the very next day! This is the happiest I’ve ever been."

Graham from Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada
< "Just one word – UNBELIEVABLE!!! The reaction I got just days after you cast the Sex Spell was incredible."

Sharon from Windsor, Pennsylvania USA
"Alizon - I wanted to let you know that there were serious signs of a commitment from ****** from the Commitment Spell you cast right away - the next day. Thank you for what you've done so for, many blessings and love to you."

Angie from Cornwall, UK
" Thank you for the first two spells that you cast for me, a Soul Mate Spell and a Success Spell - they have been very effective."

Richard, Reston, Virginia, USA
"Thank you! You did a Soul Mate Spell for me and within weeks, it quite an unusual way, I met my soulmate! I’ve never been happier."

Gurpreet from Birmingham, United Kingdom
"Hello Alizon, I just wanted to thank you for making my relationship possible! I had no idea that your Attraction Spell would work so fast! I am extremely grateful to you for making my muse into a reality. I can most definitely say I am the happiest girl on the planet right now!"

Shelley from Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada
"I cannot believe how different I am after you cast the Confidence Spell for me. I felt the positive energy straight away and am starting a course in self development. Thank you for guiding me."


Newsletter Sign Up Box

Connect with Me

The law requires me to state that the contents of this website are for entertainment purposes only.

Psychic, tarot and spell casting services cannot be a substitute for professional, legal, medical, financial or psychiatric advice/care, where appropriate.

You must be at least 18 years old to make any purchase from me.

© Copyright All Original Content 2006 – 2024 Alizons-psychic-secrets.com. All Rights Reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is not permitted.