Cheating by Having An Affair

Why Cheating Happens

There are many reasons why people cheat in relationships but usually an affair is an external sign of an internal desire for change. One partner may have become bored or uninterested in the current relationship.

When one partner has an underlying dissatisfaction with the current relationship, an affair is an unconscious way of drawing attention to the problem and bringing things into the open.

Sometimes things are so bad for one partner that they have an affair as a "get out" excuse. Rather than confront the fact that a relationship isn't working, an affair forces the issue.

Some people find it difficult to commit to one person and feel they have to play the field. Sometimes one partner is a serial cheater and will have affair after affair or one long-term lover over a long time.

Surviving an Affair

Trust is essential for a healthy relationship, and it's something we often take for granted until it's gone. Having an affair destroys all trust. It can take a long time to rebuild that trust – if at all. But it may be possible for the relationship to survive and even improve.

If you're the one that's had the affair you’ll need to work hard at reassuring your partner that you can rebuild a relationship and that you've learnt from your mistake.

If you're the one who's been cheated on, you may find it difficult to ever trust your partner again. Suspicions and continuing to question their behaviour could damage your already broken relationship further. However, as time passes, you could find yourself feeling more secure and confident about your relationship.

Preventing Cheating in a Relationship

Absolute clear and good communication is key to any relationship and is one of the most effective ways to prevent cheating.

Be open and honest. Share any temptations with your partner and agree to support each other. Only by talking and listening to each other will you give and receive information that you need to progress with your relationship.

Cheating can happen when one partner’s needs are not being fulfilled, emotionally or physically. Build and maintain emotional and sexual intimacy in your relationship. The closer you are, the stronger you are.

Take care of yourself. Eat healthily, exercise and look your very best. Feeling good about yourself will help you love yourself. If you can’t or don’t love yourself, it's hard for you to believe that anyone else will.

Things you can do

If you have been cheated on by your partner having an affair or affairs, then you need to understand that you partner cannot love you. Someone who truly loves another person would not and indeed could not hurt them in that way.

Your future relationship with that person is doomed to failure. By failure I mean an imperfect relationship. If you are prepared to put up with less than 100% relationship then all well and good.

Personally I could not and would give them their marching orders.

If you are the cheater, then be honest and face up to the fact that you do not love your partner and it is time to move on.

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